It has been an interesting week for me since returning back from a 10 day visit to Phoenix. I have a feeling this is going to be a long entry because it's been awhile....
To begin with I started off doing a 6 day cleanse so I could get rid of toxins, impurities and other ucky stuff that our bodies just need some help getting rid of. I had been wanting to do one and got all the stuff I needed to accomplish this while I was in Phoenix and because I'm crazy just started it right away when I got home. Now in some ways this was easier since planning meals wasn't so much of a concern since I was doing very minimal eating and just feeding two toddlers is pretty simple and actually easier when I can sit down and constantly encourage Kylie (not Owen) to eat her food :) Although it did make my tummy rumble a bit over the week, I was surprised at normal I did feel most of the time. So I'm sold on the stuff, it works. But I'm glad to be done and eating again!
After being home for a few days I realized that I was upon the due date of having to have a sample taken from my septic, ewe ewe ewe. So I went and got the little bottle, quickly read through the directions, guessed on which large round container was the septic and took a sample, gross, but not as bad as I imagined. Turned in the sample, and thought oh good I'm done with that! Well not quite, a few days later I found out that my sample results turned out to be super crazy high contaminated. This doesn't make since since I've only lived here for a year and every month I put in a natural septic thing to help keep it all good, and don't flush anything I'm not supposed to ( a hard lesson learned when living in Montana on the ranch). So today I dug out the map of the whole septic system (should have done this a week ago) in my front yard and called the nice lady back at the health department and asked her if it was possible I took it from the wrong place and yep sure enough I did. SO this time I wrote down the specific directions from her about what to do about the whole situation and can take another sample instead of have the septic man come out and do maintenance on the whole nasty thing. Well that is if this next sample comes back OK :)
This week has also been a week of a thousand emotions. For two reasons, I started reading a book call "The Shack" and it has brought me to a place of deep hard feelings, healing and has brought be back to feeling like I can stand firmly again in who I am. I don't even think I realized I wasn't there until recently. I can't quite explain it all, it's still processing in my own mind and I'm not even done with the book yet. The second reason is for some horrible news I received. One of the lady's who cleaned at the ranch, Tina, son was killed in a motorcycle accident in Las Vegas about a week or so ago. Tina was at the time living in Las Vegas with her 19 year old daughter Danyell, separated from her husband still living in Montana. Her son Cody was in the Air Force ( i think...) I didn't know him, but knew Tina and Danyell. About a week after Cody was killed Tina took her own life....it is just so unbearably sad to find this out. There are no words, like a said before, just emotions. I hadn't really been in contact with Tina since Luke died so it feels very disconnected for me in a way but yet my heart is just aching...knowing the kind of pain and desperation you feel when losing someone that is a part of you. I can not even begin to understand though what this sweet girl is going through having lost a brother and mother in one week, it just seems unbearable, uncopeable. So I have put my heart and prayers into the hands of God, knowing only he in his perfect timing can hold, heal, restore, protect, give peace and comfort in this time and that he will bring the right people around Danyell that she needs.
I know He did this for me and continues to do so even as I approach two years with out Luke. His faithfulness in seeking out to have a relationship of love with Him is amazing to me. And on the days that I am able to turn to him and humbly receive it, I see my life as truly blessed even through the pain.
